Trolley cases on the streets should be banned

I have recently noticed an alarming proliferation in the attack of the trolley-cases.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a trolley-case has its benefits and in the right environment is an asset to the puller-alonger. No group of cabin crew parading through an airport would be complete without these accessories, but a busy street full of pedestrians is not the right environment. Especially when these cases are almost invariably pulled slightly to the side of the pedestrian-owner, thereby making their pavement requirement bigger …

There is something of an unspoken, but ongoing, mobile stand-off between the normal bi-pedal pedestrian and one armed with this pulled appendage – who will give way first?

Will the unarmed pedestrian alter their course to make way for the advancing threat of the two wheeled, extended handled trolley-case pulled along by the ‘very important can’t you see how much stuff I have to carry’ business person or the ‘I’ve been to far flung shores and all I took was this capsule wardrobe’ seasoned traveller?

Today in London on the short walk between Kings Cross and Euston railway stations, I found myself facing what seemed like hoards of these damn cases – some pulled by smart suited corporate types, many pulled by errant tourists.

Now London is a nightmare to walk around at the best of times unless you are happy to potter along at tourist pace or simply barge through the throng ‘a la’ the seasoned London commuter – but when the trolley-case is thrown into the mix (along with the everyday hazards of bicycles and pushchairs) the nightmare becomes an epic, fraught with the danger of crushed toes and/or bashed shins – so today I took a stand (or more accurately a walk) not to give way to these pavement menaces.

At one point, when in an imminent stand-off situation with a female corporate trolley-case puller, where there was one stretch of pavement available between us, a railing and an Evening Standard kiosk, it took nerves of steel to hold her off – but then I am made of stern stuff. She glared at me, I smiled back cheerfully said ‘thank you’ and pushed on past with gleeful purpose… I felt her loathing for me as I went by but I worried not. 

A tourist pulling a Burberry patterned variety of trolley-case was next, I wanted to bear right as I crossed the road, the tourist was coming across the road on a diagonal collision course with me. Again I smiled and kept walking in a straight line, again the trolley-case was defeated… 

I found this 'walk-and-smile' tactic works in general - although in London I am probably viewed as best avoided anyway, given I am smiling randomly as I walk along :-)

I do realise this is all rather petty of me, but it kept me entertained on my walk to the train today and stopped me getting aggravated at the general annoyance of trying to walk on our capitals streets. No wonder there is a 'limo-lifestyle' for those who can afford it, you might get stuck in traffic but your Louboutins won't be damaged by a toe-vs-trolley-case incident on your way to the Ivy.

The upshot of all of this is that, along with my thoughts on umbrellas on crowded streets, I have decided that commuting in the classic sense is a dangerous undertaking, so far fewer people should do it allowing me to get to work safely… There you go David Cameron, another reason to increase the number of people out of work – commuting for those left with jobs would be safer and you might just also save the NHS (or what’s left of it) some cash too…